Have You Positively Impacted Others With Craziness Today?

For many of us, today is the return to routine after a Holiday weekend. I say routine, which could be another way of saying "normal", but we know all too well that a day like this is far from normal. It's like Monday on steroids. How do you cope?

Here are a few things I have done today to beat the doldrums and show those around me that "Crazy doesn't take days off".

1) I rolled up to the office with the radio blaring Sinatra and did my best Ace Ventura parking job. A few cars sustained some minor damage. No biggee.

2) I cellophaned the toilet seat. That was not wise however. I forgot and wound up being the first to use it. But you can see how it might have brightened my day.

3) I started the warehouse on fire. Well, not actually the warehouse, just some old boxes and paint cans. Ha Ha. (BOOM!)

4) I chewed a whole pack of Hubba Bubba at once while talking on the phone.

5) I set a badger loose in the office and locked the doors. Don't worry, no rabies.

6) I wasted 10 minutes of my bosses time typing this.

What have you done today?

Messin' with the Normals

A few of us local St. Louis Crazies are planning to get together and make the trip to the headquarters of the Normals. We're going to T.P. the place. It'll be fun. I hear security is lax (portly).

It's less than a three hour drive, especially with one of our type at the wheel. We'll meet at the East Stadium Parking Garage, top level, at 7:00pm tonight. Depending on how many show up, we'll car pool as necessary. That will put us there around 10:00pm. Coincidentally, the Normal's bedtime. Obviously they will have long since gone home for the night. We just have to outrun that slightly overweight guard (although a little birdie told me he's one of us).

I'll stop by Wal-mart on the way and grab a few cases of cheap toilet paper. It'll be just like old times (last weekend). If nothing exciting happens, we'll call the cops on ourselves when we get the place about half way covered.

Crazies vs. Normals Annual Softball Game

This Year's annual softball competition against our arch-enemies will be held on June 7th at that place at the corner of those two streets. The game starts at 3:00pm. I need all the Crazies there by noon to get our game-plan together.

If you remember, last year we did not win. In fact, we got our asses handed to us. However, we had more fun and less injuries than the Normals. I have a vivid memory of Stella freaking out on that little third-basemen. He never saw it coming. I heard his ribs have healed and the mis-alignment of his nose is barely noticeable.

This year, I am confident we will beat them, even if we don't win.

Welcome New Crazies

Please join me in welcoming our newest members!!

Stella F. has been approved for membership. Stella is confident that we need her based on her baking ability, her love for pornography, and her knack for belittling people. In her spare time, she breeds and raises midgets. Welcome Stella!

Alejandro C. has also been approved for membership. Alejandro sometimes worries what people think of him but does nothing to change their perception. He prides himself on his vivid paranoia. He enjoys meat sculptures and has found many uses for peanut butter (some, we're told, are illegal in certain states). Welcome Alejandro!

Please note that the NSC does not sanction, condone, or otherwise encourage the behaviors exhibited by the individuals above, and we recommend peanut butter only for eating and removing gum from hair.

Application for Membership

The National Society of CRAZIES
Application for Membership


Name of Applicant:____________________________ Date:________________

Sex: □ M □ F □ Other Beverage of Choice:______________________

Why do you desire to become a member?____________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What contribution(s) do you believe you will bring to the group?________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What is the average number of your daily personal actions that you believe to be worthy of the “Crazy” label?________________

Describe the Crazy personal action that you think best qualifies you for membership:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Which of the following best describes your drinking habits:
a) I over-consume less than half the time
b) I over-consume about half the time
c) I over-consume more than half the time
d) What’s over-consume?

Do you work with one person who is “insane”? □ Y □ N (they’re all insane)

What’s the difference between an orange?____________________________________

Copy, Paste, Complete (or print, complete, scan) and return via email