Save Things by Killing Them - It's Just Crazy Enough to Work

Esteemed Members of the NSC,

Please join in our effort to save the less fortunate creatures of the earth. Those poor animals have no capacity for reason. They walk around this earth without a soul, and some without opposable thumbs. They need us. Some of those with which we share this earth have already reached the point of complete destruction. They've been wiped out, extinct. This doesn't have to happen. It doesn't have to be this way.

In order to help, you simply need to play along with the game described below. If you do, you could be saving a species.

The game is called Road Kill Rampage. The object of the game is to strike and kill animals on the roadway with your vehicle between 9/17/2008 and 10/17/2008. Here's how the game is scored:

For an opossum kill, receive 1 point
For a squirrel kill, receive 2 points
For a peacock kill, receive 3 points
For and ostrich kill, receive 5 points
For a woolly mammoth kill, receive 10 points
(Remember, Killing Birds of Prey and Drunk Lawn-mower Riders is illegal in some states. In states where this is allowed, the animals will be scored by gross weight, lawn tractors included.)

There are really no rules except that you must strike and kill the listed animals with your vehicle while travelling on a legitimate roadway. Send us photos of each kill so we can award your points.

Thanks to our sponsors, Crock, Inc., for donations allowing us to put together a prize package for the winner. The points leader as of midnight on 10/17/2008 will receive, among other things, a 10% off coupon to Dickie's Taxidermy in New Melle Missouri to assist in the preservation of one of the specimens.

If you are wondering why we would support such a cause please visit our sponsor. Crock, Inc. put this whole thing together for us. Believe it or not, it does serve a higher purpose than just simply being crazy.

Membership Drive Rescheduled Due to Wolves

.....and lack of publicity. As your Chairman, it was my responsibility to make sure the event was promoted properly. I failed. It didn't even make it on the NSC blog. This resulted in low turn-out.

Some people did show up. They were not particularly crazy. Actually, I termed them "Normals in Wolves Clothing". It's not an expression, they were actually Normals in Wolves clothing. Apparently they thought the costumes would make us think they were crazy and let them join. It didn't work losers!!!

Anyway, the Membership drive has been moved to this week, and next. Probably the rest of the year. Recruit those crazies!! Do it!

Nominate your friends. Send 'em the application.

Messin' with the Normals

A few of us local St. Louis Crazies are planning to get together and make the trip to the headquarters of the Normals. We're going to T.P. the place. It'll be fun. I hear security is lax (portly).

It's less than a three hour drive, especially with one of our type at the wheel. We'll meet at the East Stadium Parking Garage, top level, at 7:00pm tonight. Depending on how many show up, we'll car pool as necessary. That will put us there around 10:00pm. Coincidentally, the Normal's bedtime. Obviously they will have long since gone home for the night. We just have to outrun that slightly overweight guard (although a little birdie told me he's one of us).

I'll stop by Wal-mart on the way and grab a few cases of cheap toilet paper. It'll be just like old times (last weekend). If nothing exciting happens, we'll call the cops on ourselves when we get the place about half way covered.

Crazies vs. Normals Annual Softball Game

This Year's annual softball competition against our arch-enemies will be held on June 7th at that place at the corner of those two streets. The game starts at 3:00pm. I need all the Crazies there by noon to get our game-plan together.

If you remember, last year we did not win. In fact, we got our asses handed to us. However, we had more fun and less injuries than the Normals. I have a vivid memory of Stella freaking out on that little third-basemen. He never saw it coming. I heard his ribs have healed and the mis-alignment of his nose is barely noticeable.

This year, I am confident we will beat them, even if we don't win.