Save Things by Killing Them - It's Just Crazy Enough to Work

Esteemed Members of the NSC,

Please join in our effort to save the less fortunate creatures of the earth. Those poor animals have no capacity for reason. They walk around this earth without a soul, and some without opposable thumbs. They need us. Some of those with which we share this earth have already reached the point of complete destruction. They've been wiped out, extinct. This doesn't have to happen. It doesn't have to be this way.

In order to help, you simply need to play along with the game described below. If you do, you could be saving a species.

The game is called Road Kill Rampage. The object of the game is to strike and kill animals on the roadway with your vehicle between 9/17/2008 and 10/17/2008. Here's how the game is scored:

For an opossum kill, receive 1 point
For a squirrel kill, receive 2 points
For a peacock kill, receive 3 points
For and ostrich kill, receive 5 points
For a woolly mammoth kill, receive 10 points
(Remember, Killing Birds of Prey and Drunk Lawn-mower Riders is illegal in some states. In states where this is allowed, the animals will be scored by gross weight, lawn tractors included.)

There are really no rules except that you must strike and kill the listed animals with your vehicle while travelling on a legitimate roadway. Send us photos of each kill so we can award your points.

Thanks to our sponsors, Crock, Inc., for donations allowing us to put together a prize package for the winner. The points leader as of midnight on 10/17/2008 will receive, among other things, a 10% off coupon to Dickie's Taxidermy in New Melle Missouri to assist in the preservation of one of the specimens.

If you are wondering why we would support such a cause please visit our sponsor. Crock, Inc. put this whole thing together for us. Believe it or not, it does serve a higher purpose than just simply being crazy.

It's Crazy to Me.....

.......that rocket-thrusters function in outer space. Isn't it a vacuum? What is being thrust against?

I know, I already thought of that.....I'm pretty sure it's not God's leg.

Call Me Crazy but......(#001)

I was just watching the movie "Transformers" and noticed something. These impossibly-massive metaphysically-advanced alien robot technology/lifeforms actually move their metal mouths when they speak (except BumbleBee, he speaks through the radio). Call me crazy but....something this advanced would not need to bother moving it's mouth to speak. Sound would just come out somewhere, or maybe it would communicate telepathically. Do you know what I mean? The movie was very realistic up until that point.

Is There Crazy on Other Planets?

I've often pondered the possibility that crazy is a universal phenomenon. I have shared my belief in extra-terrestrial craziness with friends and family many times, always with the same results. "You're crazy Ed", they say.

IN YOUR FACE non-believers!!! The mars probe has been collecting soil samples and analyzing them of late. Guess what it found? No, not direct evidence of crazy, but evidence that one could "grow asparagus pretty well". As you know, studies have shown that asparagus is closely linked to crazy and craziness. The fact that it could grow in martian soil is crazy enough. And what about it's piss-fouling characteristics? Crazy?

Don't believe me? Look.

Membership Drive Rescheduled Due to Wolves

.....and lack of publicity. As your Chairman, it was my responsibility to make sure the event was promoted properly. I failed. It didn't even make it on the NSC blog. This resulted in low turn-out.

Some people did show up. They were not particularly crazy. Actually, I termed them "Normals in Wolves Clothing". It's not an expression, they were actually Normals in Wolves clothing. Apparently they thought the costumes would make us think they were crazy and let them join. It didn't work losers!!!

Anyway, the Membership drive has been moved to this week, and next. Probably the rest of the year. Recruit those crazies!! Do it!

Nominate your friends. Send 'em the application.